Mother’s Day is fast approaching and I got to thinking what would be the best gift a mother could have. Breakfast in bed? A spa trip? Free time away to enjoy a good book? While all these are wonderful and well deserved for every mommy out there, I have something better for you. It’s a gift that you can give yourself. Your voice.
We all have it as mothers, but do we trust in it? Do we listen to it?
It’s especially hard as a new mother to trust in your voice that you are parenting the right way, feeding your baby the right food or for that matter, trusting in the way you parent all together. There are so many ways to parent and do things when it comes to parenting, no wonder you can’t find your voice, right? But, I truly believe the best gift you can give yourself as a mother this Mothers Day is to listen to your voice. Here are 6 ways to gain your voice and confidence as a parent this Mother’s Day.
6 Ways to Listen to Your Inner Mommy Voice
1. Choose Your Parenting Style and Rock It – whether its attachment parenting, helicopter parenting or just good ole fashioned parenting, choose your path and rock it. Doing what’s best for your family is what matters…..not what the other mommy’s are doing in your circle. If you aren’t sure what your mojo is, do some research to find what feels like a fit for your little one and run with it.
The key to remember when trying to find your parenting style, try not to compare yourself as a mommy to other mommy’s (good or bad). There is no right or wrong way to parent, only what’s right for your family. It’s hard, I get it…..we all compare ourselves. Heck, I compare myself to other mommy bloggers out there, but what I don’t compare is my parenting. There is too much at stake for my little one and the only one that is going to make that decision is me and her daddy. So, I choose to rock my parenting style.
2. Don’t Give In – just because you have found your voice, doesn’t mean others agree with it. Haven’t you heard the saying “It’s like assholes, everyone has one”. Opinions are just like that….everyone has one! So many people or other mommy’s have opinions on how your kids should be raised, but the key factor in this is your kid. It will be hard, but don’t give into the pressure and second guess your voice. Stand firm and trust your voice and intuition and don’t give in to what you know is right. It will definitely make you stronger and more confident in your voice and eventually your voice will come out a lot more and you will learn to trust it.
3. Use Your Confidence – now that you found your voice, encourage other moms to dig deep and find their voice. I know you have all heard about the mommy wars and the judgment that goes along with that. Let’s turn that around and start encouraging other moms. Let’s support our differences and pass on what you have learned about being a mother. Sure, we all have different voices and parenting styles, but showing encouragement to other mommy’s in our inner circle will help them find their strength.
4. Be Your Own Advocate – if you feel strongly about something, such as eating all organic or being vegan with your family, then do your research and fight for what you believe in. Nobody is going to do the work except you, so if you feel strongly about something then you need to do the work. Read, research and discuss with your family doctor what is best for your child and family. For example, I felt strongly about placing our baby on her back while sleeping. I had to fight others on this issue, but in the end, I am the mother and I trusted my voice. I had to be my own advocate for my baby, with the backing of my research and the medical opinion of my doctor. Its hard but I had to dig deep and fight for my voice to be heard.
5. Trust Yourself – now that you have found your parenting style, rock it. Trust in yourself and the choices you have decided for your little one and stick to it. I know you will second guess yourself from time to time, if not all the time, but don’t and trust your voice. You will start to feel more and more confident as time goes on with your bambino. The process of trusting yourself and gaining confidence comes with time and with time things will start to get easier.
If you are a mommy to an older child and just haven’t found your voice, there is no better time that right now. Evaluate what has worked and what hasn’t worked, but more importantly listen to that inner voice you have always had, just was too afraid to listen too.
6. Rock Your Mistakes and Learn from Them – look, mommies aren’t perfect, so don’t try to be. Listen to your voice when you feel that you might have made a mistake and learn from it. Growth comes from mistakes, so don’t smother that inner voice. When you’re wrong, you will let yourself know (just as everyone else will).
Finding your inner mommy voice is like listening to your intuition. When you have kids, something inside you kicks in and gives you that gut reaction. Most of the time you know what you should be doing or not doing, the key is to listen to it. You will start to learn for your little one and to know what works and what doesn’t. Listen to what you feel is the right path and follow through, no matter what. You will hit roadblocks, trust me but stay true to you and your voice.
So, start to slow down and listen. It’s there, you just have to learn to listen to it.