Knee deep in diapers, laundry, and bottles?
If you’re nodding your head “yes”, you must be a new mom.
While you’re snuggling your baby and enjoying all the things that come along with having a newborn, your mind is probably obsessing over everything baby. If you had it your way, you would probably place your baby in a padded room to protect them and not let them out until they were twenty.
While it’s healthy and perfectly normal to want to protect your baby and make sure you raise the perfect little bambino, obsession can create havoc in your household and make you go insane…
If you let it.
8 Insane Things to Avoid Obsessing Over (Unless You Want to be placed in a Padded Room)
- Germs Are Everywhere!
Okay, so we are afraid to have our precious babies around other snot nosed babies/kids. Makes sense, right? But we can’t put our babies in a bubble. We still have to get out in the world and sometimes other babies/kids sneeze on our perfect little baby.
To put your panic at bay, remember during the first few years of your baby’s life, having them exposed to germs builds up their immunity. Germs can be a good thing.
If you’re still worried, simply wash your babies/kids hands with just plain old soap. Oh, and remember….the 5 second rule. If their binky falls to the ground, you have five seconds before it gets dirty.
Don’t obsess over it. Just rinse it off with some water and remember that they will be fine.
- If Organic is Available, Great.
In today’s world, we obsessed parents are conscious of what we put in our mouths, and we’ve now inflicted that obsession to what our children are eating. We know that pre-packaged foods and processed meats can cause cancer. How much or how often is really an afterthought because we are already obsessed with the dangers of the world.
So, we shop at the all-expensive Whole Foods and try to find everything organic. Organic cheddar bunnies, organic macaroni and cheese and organic milk. Is organic foods safer for our family? The answer is yes…probably, but carrying the stress of everything needing to be organic isn’t safe for you.
Don’t obsess if you can’t get to Whole Foods. It won’t kill your baby if she eats regular chicken. It sounds worse than it is.
Remember we were all raised on these foods and are for the most part okay right?
I am the first person to say that I buy organic chicken, milk and snack foods…..but I don’t obsess over it. I don’t run myself ragged if I can’t get to the store for the organic food Madeleine eats. Instead I obsess over everything else (did I just say that?)
The balance in life is to find what works for your family and then try to implement that into your daily routine. If organic is available, and you can afford it, great. If not, that’s ok too. Do what you can by peeling the fruits and vegetables. Remove the fatty parts of the meat (parts of the meat that contact pesticides) and do what you can.
But, stop obsessing. Your baby will be ok.
- Don’t Panic, But We Ran Out of Whole Milk.
Its lunch time, and you know in the back of your mind that you can squeeze another 3 ounces of whole milk for your little one for lunch.
It’s just about time to get your baby up from her nap and you happen to glance over and your hubby is pouring an entire glass of whole milk (the last of the milk that you were going to use for the next bottle).
You try to catch him before he drops in the Nestle Quick, but it’s too late and the damage is done. Now, it’s a trip to the store with no makeup, no bra and dirty hair. You were hoping that you didn’t have to go to the market until later that night so you didn’t have to run into anyone you knew (looking like a scrub). Ugh!
Next time this happens, don’t worry. Giving babies 2% or 1% milk for a bottle or two will not kill them. Every now and then if you run out of whole milk, just make do and supplement what you have at that moment. No need to obsess over everything being perfect.
Don’t get me wrong – nutrition is very important – but if you are obsessing about your baby always needing whole milk, then you might be obsessing about the wrong things.
- No Clean Bottles? Not a Big Deal.
It’s a typical Monday morning. You woke up to a cold, have no energy and you find out you have no clean bottles. Go figure. Your baby is 16 months old and you don’t have time to disinfect the bottles (as your baby is screaming in the background for her milk). Your nightly obsession of still disinfecting the bottles is out the window. Your little bambino is growing up. So, stop obsessing over silly things. Where will it get you?
In my house we have relaxed and choose not to disinfect the bottles any longer. I am not sure when is the time to say it’s ok, but at this point Madeleine hasn’t gotten sick, so no reason to obsess, right?
Try not to obsess and just go with the flow. It’s not a big deal that you don’t have any clean bottles. Just wash the bottles with soap and water and run them thru hot water and you will be fine.
If your baby can shove tree bark into their mouth from the park, then they certainly don’t need their bottles disinfected.
- Throw Perfection Out the Window.
First off I would like to say there is no such thing as perfect, so why obsess?
The problem is that we all do. As Moms, we want things to be perfect. We want things to appear happier on the outside then what’s really going on in the inside. The perfect Halloween costume, the perfectly manicured lawn or the perfect outfits for your little one. Why do we put this perfection on our shoulders as moms?
Truth is, we compare ourselves to other moms and obsess over it. But why? Will it make our life better if we are the perfect stepford family?
No, so stop obsessing. If your child is still in a spring colored outfit and its October, that’s ok. If you or your husband throw a Halloween party together and it’s all pre-packaged food, that’s ok too. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be nice.
Same goes to being a mom. Throw perfection out the window, because even if you’re not the perfect mom, you will still be a good mom.
Remember, no parent is perfect. There are going to be slips along the way, but that’s ok. No child rearing experience is perfect. If it were, life would be pretty boring. So, stop obsessing and start enjoying your child.
- Your Favorite Skinny Jeans.
We’ve all seen those celebrity moms who have just given birth and appear to be a size zero a week later.
After having the baby all we want is for life to go back to normal. We want our body to feel the same way as it did before and we want to fit back into our favorite pair of Skinny Jeans. But, life as we know it has changed.
Obsessing over your weight and comparing it to some celebrity, who was able to drop the weight immediately, isn’t fair to yourself. The only way they were able to do what they did was because they were equipped with a personal chef, trainer and a nanny to watch their newborn. It’s not natural for weight to come off like that, so live in the present and stop obsessing.
To get your baby weight off, just focus on your brand new bundle of joy and throw the scale out the window. Eat healthy, get eight hours of sleep (I know, I know – a joke right?) and get moving when the doctor gives the okay. If you follow this, then the weight will gradually come off in a healthy way.
- Loving Your Baby at Hello.
Every time I hear someone say that when they first laid eyes on their newborn baby, they had this instant connection and loved their baby immediately, I gag and call bullshit.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Of course I had an overwhelming feeling of joy finally getting to hold my baby Madeleine, but I didn’t instantly love her. I didn’t have that instant bond that everyone talks lovingly about.
I obsessed over this and wondered if there was something wrong with me for a long time, but remember what we have been told about obsessing?
It’s a waste of time. It fills our heads with negative thoughts and sucks the energy out of us.
Of course I love my baby. Maybe I didn’t instantly bond with Madeleine, but who says that’s the right feeling that one should have.
God created us all differently with different thoughts and emotions. There is no right or wrong way to feel, it’s all relevant to each individual person.
So, don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you didn’t instantly bond with your baby. As time goes on, your connection and bond will increase with each new day. I know it did with me and now I obsess over the amount of time I spend with her (who said we can’t obsess?)
- Keeping up with the Jones
Milestones are constant in our kid’s lives. As parents, we are always obsessing over the next mark our child should be at. We obsess because as parents we are competitive. In society we are always comparing our children to some prodigy in class. Why? Well, it’s been ingrained in us. But, obsessing over whether your baby has started crawling or walking faster than to little Johnny at school isn’t going to make them walk more quickly.
In our family, Madeleine has been about a month behind on little marks like crawling. When she did start crawling, it was more of a scoot then crawl. Did I obsess over it? Yes, for a bit. But then I had to realize that she will crawl when she is good and ready.
Madeleine finally just took her first few steps at 16 months and we were elated. We had to just throw our obsession to the wind and know that it will happen on her time and that we couldn’t push it. When we stopped obsessing, it happened.
So, just enjoy the moments they are in at the present time and know that those milestones will happen when they are ready.
The key is to find a balance, let up a bit on the obsession (before you drive your husband insane or you are locked up). Try not to take parenting so seriously and things will eventually start to fall into place. You will get into your Mommy groove and start to trust your instincts, which will give you a break on obsessing. Oh, and a little yoga couldn’t hurt either.